My Testimony
- Immersion
- Jul 27, 2020
- 2 min read
My Testimony
Betty • Raped at infancy • Suicidal thoughts since age 7 • Responsible for siblings • Absent parents • Drug addicted father • Was told I was a product of rape (I wasn't but mom made that up to get control of communication) • Couldn't get fatherly love because my mom was worried my step dad would do something • Insecure and cried over everything (spirit of insecurity) • Depression. • Controlled by a Jezebel spirit- was never good enough for mom, didn't get to have a childhood or youth. • Ran Away at 18- last ditch effort to save my life. I was going to commit suicide if I stayed in that environment. • Got married • Husband gets deployed overseas. Missed first anniversary. • Infertility (had our first pregnancy after 7 years) • Adoption (we adopted our first son) • Parenting a child with trauma • Moved a lot due to my husband's military • Always felt unwanted • Husband was addicted to porn (I had no idea) • Endured infidelity • I myself got hooked on pornography to fill the void • Drank nightly to "wind down" ended up tipsy. • Bankrupt because of husband's addiction • But God....
But God spoke through all of this and I fully surrender because I was completely lost and broken. You saw me with a smile but I was breaking. I was going to divorce my husband. But God did something in me and the work isn't finished. My husband is freed from the strongholds that had him bound for decades (but that's his testimony to share).
We often wonder why we have to go through so much. But I am glad I did. I can sit with the broken because I've been broken myself. We go through things like this to give GOD more glory.
If we've been in the pit we can show others how to get out. We can love them the way we needed the love and show them the Light- JESUS.
What the enemy thought would kill me is exactly what I'm going to use against him and gain for souls for the kingdom of Heaven. My life is a mosaic of shattered pieces put together creating a masterpiece of how God uses brokenness to shine His light through us.
***EDIT: This is not to shame my parents or anyone involved in my testimony. This is a result of us living in a fallen world. This is a result of Satan attacking generation after generation. Healing has happened. I no longer look back with resentment. I love my parents but they were broken as well. Redemption happens at the feet of Jesus.
I decided to share because I am secure in my calling and I would be selfish to keep this all to myself. Jesus brought me through all of this so I could pull others out of it in His name.
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