Nothing But A Kings Love

Unedited - At the age 7,8,9,10 when my brother's friend started molesting me and too young to understand what he was doing to me was wrong. He was in he's early teens and every time he was around me and my friend he would sit next to me, play with us and secretly touch me in my private areas . my friend wouldn't notice and I would keep quiet too. Some days he sent my friend to the shops for some time alone with me, whenever we were alone, he wouldn't only touch me but have sex with me and it would be very scary and uncomfortable. I kept it a secret, never told anyone about it nor understood what he was doing to me.

Then the uncle of the same friend, I was his favorite, out of my friend's friends and he would call me his wife. He liked having he's alone time with me, cuddling my body and touching me in ways that also never made sense to me. This time I became afraid, he's emotions were very scary but because of what I was going through at home I never stopped hanging out at my friend's place so I went through it until the family moved to another area and I never saw the family again and friendship with my friend was lost.

Again, another friend's brother but this time it was different.

The friend was a year younger than me and he would sleep with the both of us and even made us sleep together. He didn't force us but he was the older one and we were just following instructions until I became twelve, started my periods and learnt a bit about sex education and all. One afternoon after school I got home and my mom wasn't home, I just stood by the gate and as I was waiting for my mother he called me and told me my mom left the key and I should come fetch it. I went to his house and immediately when I entered the dinning room he started kissing me, touching me and I told him no, to stop but he never stopped, instead he pushed on the floor and I cried, screamed, luckily my mom arrived before anything could happen.

I turned 13, stayed with my mom, stepfather and his family. My stepfather was loving and took care of us very well but he's not on the other hand made me he's victim. It started of he's touching, orals and hand jobs, it was very scary and I told someone about what my stepfather's nephew was doing to me. My parents were told, on the same night they started fighting and we ended up being homeless and stayed with my mother's friend. It was made to be my fault, I felt like it was my fault but I was still young to understand. My mother fell into depression and disappeared for a while and I stayed with my mom's friend and family.

Same week, Friday, I decided to go to an all night prayer without my mother's friend's permission... I hoped I would sleepover after Church only to find out no one was sleeping over so I had to go back to my friend's moms place and when I went back it was locked, I pretended I had someone opening for me and that I was safe so the person dropping me off could drive off. It was around midnight or past midnight and I just wondered the streets till a strange men located me, tried to rob me and raped me.

We kept moving from places to places till a nose of a car disturbed him and he ran away. Luckily I was near my junior pastors house and that's where I got help. The rape got reported and I got medical attention but emotionally I was broken but I had to put on a mask that I was okay and continued smiling.

After the incident I moved from homes to homes and my mother would be there for a short period and then go to my stepfather. I was unwanted, unloved and struggled to settle in and before you know it i was back staying with my stepfather and my mother because no one really wanted me. My stepfather's nephew abused me and had sex with me every time he got back from work, before or after homeworks and some days he would drag me from the kitchen to his room and rape me. It would hurt so bad, i would have hot baths after he rapes me, i would bleed, cry in silent and it happened often times to a point were i started peeing my pants every time when i had to go the the loo.

It broke me, i couldn't speak out, i was tired of moving from homes to homes and i had to get use to it. I even tried killing myself but I would just get sick and not die. During the age of sixteen, my mom and stepfather we moved out and I broke free from the abuse though I was already emotionally and mentally broken but I had to keep strong.

At 17 I got brutally raped. I was visiting relatives in Limpopo and went out with my aunt's daughter and son. They left me there and I was with a male family friend who was well known to the family. On our way home we got robbed, it was dark, i was a bit tipsy. The guy i was with got stabbed and I just ran but because I wasn't familiar with the place I got lost, ran in circles until I stopped running and when I looked back the guy was just behind me and just walking. I couldn't stop crying, he was getting closer and closer and when he was finally closer and I pleaded him not to harm me. He told me to walk home and he won't do any harm, I walked and just few steps he approached me with a knife from the back and asked me for money and cellphone but I didn't have it. He held my arm, took me to a bush just 3 steps away from us and asked me to undress and lay down. I did, he had knives and all different sizes. I cried and laid down, he raped me and he would cut me with a knife every time I made a crying sound or try to make noise but I couldn't help it. My body was so numb and I couldn't stop crying or even stopped feeling pain from him raping me and cutting me. Hours past, I became weaker, bruised, and I was ready to die, nor cared about what will happen to me next, he was gonna kill me he never kept that from me. I was ready to die but when I heard a sound of a care coming across, though I knew what was a stake I screamed for help and the car passed but it came back and I was rescued by a couple and he ran.

I never became normal after all the incidents but no matter how much it hurts I never stopped laughing and smiling. I failed matric, I became an escort and started using drugs. At 22 I went back to rewrite my matric and I passed. I never stopped using drugs, as a coping mechanism until I was into addiction and muchier depression at 23 and then there was ICU where I was given a second chance from taking poison.

I didn't only survive abuse, rape but also more then ten suicides but I have grown a lot of stronger. I also wrote a book about my whole life experience, not only for self healing but also to bring awareness to parents, kids and community. I never thought I would still be here today and it's all because of the love of God. Arise, wipe your tears and never give up.

I will be interviewed live on "The Interviews," Friday, December 18, 2020. The story you just read was real but there is so much more. Catch the testimony of hope, courage, strength, forgiveness!. www.facebook.com/intothefuture.step. Because Everyone's Journey IS Different!

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