What is Domestic Violence (Intimate Partner Violence)?

What is the appropriate response as it relates to the church?

Domestic violence is an escalating pattern of behaviors used by one partner to exert power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. It can include physical, emotional, mental, financial, sexual, and cyber abuse, none of which is more or less serious than another. Domestic violence looks different depending on the situation, but always includes one partner attempting to maintain power and control over another. Abusive partners use various tactics to maintain power and control over victims, which may include behaviors that manipulate, intimidate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure or wound someone.

It’s incredibly difficult for anyone to leave an abusive relationship; studies show it can take up to 7 attempts for someone to leave an abuser. There are multiple reasons for this; for one thing, leaving the relationship is the most dangerous time, and can trigger the abuser’s desire for power and control in lethal ways. Other reasons can include financial considerations, wanting what’s best for the children, pressure from family or friends to stay, religious beliefs, and many others. Every individual’s situation is unique, and every individual experiencing abuse has their own reasons why they may choose to stay. It’s important to acknowledge that every individual knows their situation best, and has the right to make informed decisions about their safety and well-being.

Domestic Violence and Disabilities

For people with disabilities, all of those reasons still apply with the addition of specific barriers or considerations. For example, the abuser may be the individual’s caregiver or have control over their assistive technologies or medicine. The abuser may have isolated the individual to the point that they don’t believe there is anyone else who could provide them with care. Women with disabilities are 40% more likely to be victims of abuse, and the abuse they report is longer-lasting and more intense.

Abusers may use a person’s mental health disability against them when they try to access services, calling the person with disabilities “crazy” or “paranoid” or “delusional.” People with disabilities might not have access to affordable transportation or housing or prescriptions.

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